An Attitude or a Chore?

“After all, you could have killed my whole family and me. But instead, you let me eat at your own table. Your Majesty, what more could I ask?”
II Samuel 19:28 CEV, Mephibosheth (Saul’s grandson, Jonathan’s son) speaking with King David

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Mark Twain

Forgiveness. As I type the word, I think “chore.” I worry I’m missing out on letting the guilty party “have it.” But to GOD, forgiveness is an expression of HIS nature.

Occasionally, and I am ashamed to say it is truly rare, I catch a glimpse of myself in a moment of unforgiveness. I see the self-righteousness and self-justification and grab a look from outside myself. And it is all worthless. As the writer of Ecclesiastes says, all is vanity, a striving after the wind. My troubles, my disasters, my self-righteous anger amounts to nothing. I see myself and I have a heart of stone. If only I would lose my heart of stone, my stubbornness for self-justification, and have a more forgiving attitude, my relationship with others, my joy, would know no bounds. I could see others how GOD sees them and I could love them. I could focus on what GOD has called me to do.

But how do I have a more forgiving attitude? I’ve studied forgiveness extensively. I am a counselor and a graduate from seminary. If one were to look for an expert, religion and psychology would be the places to look. But more knowledge has not equated to more forgiveness. If anything, it has made me more hardened. More “right” in my own eyes. If they only “knew the truth,” then we could agree. Then we could get along. Maybe I could think about liking them. We need to wait on this love stuff.

I look to Biblical characters for practical guidance. And King David seems like a possibility. He was a world away from JESUS—temporally and sinner-wise. He murdered, committed adultery, and was a man of war. But he was called a man after GOD’s own heart (I Samuel 13:14, I Samuel 16:7, Acts 13:22). King David is such a dichotomy—someone worse than I am but yet had a relationship with GOD that I envy. Is that even a Christian striving? To envy and covet a relationship that he had with GOD.

I have always found it curious, what was it that GOD recognized in David that is in HIS own heart? He called him a man after HIS own heart. He recognized something. I used to think it was one thing—forgiveness. But now, as I write this blog, I realize it is a spaghetti of qualities—intertwined and interrelated aspects of GOD’s nature that cannot be parsed, separated or divided.

So what to do? Like any complex item, I reduce it to base parts. King David loved people, his neighbor. He lacked an ego. He forgave quickly. He sought GOD. Arrogance was not an issue with him. All these things and more play into David’s nature but I decide to focus on forgiveness. It is my current struggle. I struggle with the rest—but forgiveness is on the forefront.

Why do I say King David was quick to forgive? King Saul was anointed King of Israel. Because of his not obeying GOD’s command, GOD removed the kingdom from Saul and gave it to David. David is anointed King but Saul continues to reign. Repeatedly, and I emphasize, repeatedly Saul attempted to snuff out David’s life (I Samuel 15-31). David had ample opportunity to return the favor. Did he? He would have been justified. Saul tried to kill him. Again. And again. And again. Instead, he chose to stay his hand and not kill Saul. At the end of I Samuel, Saul is dead (by suicide). We begin II Samuel. I expect David to be ecstatic that Saul is dead. I say “finally, now David can reign for GOD.” But what do I find?

Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them and so did all the men who were with him. And they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son and for the people of the LORD and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword. II Samuel 1:11-12 ESV

What? He mourned? He tore his clothes and wept? Okay, maybe that was just a show but secretly he was glad Saul was dead, right? No, wait, read on. What did David do with the man that took credit for killing Saul? A young man thought he would find favor with David if he had killed Saul. So he took credit for the killing. Did he find favor? Then David called one of the young men and said, “Go, execute him.” And he struck him down so that he died. (II Samuel 1:15 ESV).

So this is all lovely and good but the rubber needs to hit the road. What does this story have anything to do with forgiveness? I ask myself “how do I know I’ve forgiven someone?” And I find one consistent answer (when I choose to listen to the answer). If I have truly forgiven a person, I experience sorrow at their demise or death. David grieved for Saul. To my unforgiving ears, where forgiveness is a chore, not a way of life, it rings odd. Out of tune with the real world. I say finally, Saul is dead. David said “It was easy to love Saul and Jonathan. Together in life, together in death, they were faster than eagles and stronger than lions.” II Samuel 1:23 CEV

With David, the death of Saul was something to be mourned. Saul had been personally selected by GOD to reign over HIS people. Saul disobeyed GOD. And David felt sorrow at the failure of Saul to obey GOD. Saul was missed when he died. And David mourned him. David had forgiven Saul for all the evil Saul sought to do to David.

Do we need to wait for our enemy to die before we know if we’ve forgiven them? Or for the impatient, let us help them along in their demise? No. But what about the next time I choose to think of the wrong I’ve experienced, I will extend a gift to the guilty party. My gift? I will choose to think a positive thought about them. At this point, that is all I can do. Think a good thought. It’s small but it’s a start. The road to a forgiving heart… not a destination but a process? Not a chore, but an attitude? A process that in the end works more me than the one I’ve forgiven?

 What’s your choice?

A Path

And you shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  Deuteronomy 6:5 NASB

I like this verse.  The main reason is because Jesus quoted it and expanded on it in the New Testament (Mark 12:30).  But another, less significant reason that I like it is because it is not expected.  We think of the Old Testament as fire and wrath.  Of “thou shalt nots.”  We picture the children of Israel walking a narrow path with sheer cliffs of fiery lava off one side and crocodile infested waters filling the other side.  One misstep and they become crème brulee a la flambé.  Or they fall off the other side and they are crocodile chow.  But there is more to the Old Testament than rules, laws, fiery consequences and judgment.  There is a loving FATHER who wants us to love HIM.  So HE tells us how…

            And you shall love the LORD your GOD

            The assumption—your GOD.  GOD is speaking to HIS people.  At the time of this verse, HE is speaking through Moses to the Israelites.  GOD is their GOD.  And the LORD tells Moses to tell Israel Everyone must come—men, women, children, and even the foreigners who live in your towns.  And each new generation will listen and learn to worship the LORD their GOD with fear and trembling and to do exactly what is said in GOD’s law (Deuteronomy 31:12-13 CEV).  GOD is not solely Israel’s but for all.  In Mark, Jesus tells us the same beginning Love the LORD your GOD.  Jews and non-Jews are to worship HIM.  Love HIM.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus  (Galatians 3:28 ESV).  How exciting to know that I am included!  So now, how do I walk this path to loving GOD, my LORD?

            With all your heart

            The heart.  Many think of it as the seat of our emotions.  But emotions are unstable.  They are not logical, they are emotional!  The heart is a greater symbol than just emotions.  Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, and not reluctantly or under compulsion, for GOD loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV).  This verse is talking about being a cheerful giver but what is the reference to the heart?  I bolded it.  It is about a decision being made.  A willful act.  The NCV also says you have decided in your heart.  The CEV uses make up your own mind.  While the NKJV and NASB both say as he purposes in his heart.  And to finish formally ASV says as he hath purposed in his heart while KJV speaketh it as he purposeth in his heart. 

            I am not attempting to explain an exhaustive symbolic meaning of the heart.  But for a glimpse?  I focus on a part.  A glimpse showing the heart as a place where decisions are made.  Purposed.  A place where our will is decided.  Love the LORD your GOD with all your heart?  Make a willful decision.  A purposeful act to love the LORD.  As purposeful as taking one step forward on my path to loving GOD, I decided in my heart to love HIM.

            With all your soul

            To do an exhaustive study of the soul, would be exhausting for me.  Watchman Nee spends hundreds of pages in his book The Spiritual Man differentiating the soul from the human spirit.  I’ll give the abridged version—maybe that means I understand something of what Nee says!  The soul is the self, the living being of the person.  The human spirit is GOD’s created agency.  The soul is the result of the created agency (human spirit) meeting flesh.  And the LORD GOD formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being (Genesis 2:7 NKJV).   The dust of the ground—the flesh.  Breathed into his nostrils the breath of life—human spirit.  And when the two mixed, a third uniquely created thing occurred man became a living being—the soul (self). 

            Love the LORD with all my soul?  I am to love the LORD with all my being.  All that is myself is to be given in love to HIM.  As I walk the path of the Christian life, I am to give myself in love to HIM.  

            With all your might

            Might.  Strength.  Power.  My nifty Bible Reference says might is “effective power.”  I like that, although I’m not sure what ineffective power would be.  Maybe the old asteroids game where the spaceship is flying out of control blasting everything in its path?  Pretty powerful but useless.  I’m speaking on the exact opposite: effective power.  To take all the strength I possess and under my willful control use it to Love the LORD.

            And you shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  Deuteronomy 6:5 NASB

            To summarize?  I am to love the LORD.  With all my will.  With all of myself.  With all of the power I control.  And that's not all because Jesus expanded it.  He added mind and strength  in place of might.  The bottom line?  A process.  I am to love the LORD with my being and to be reminded to love HIM continually.  It is not a goal to achieve but a path to walk.

Go!  And love the LORD your GOD!

Writing HIS WORD upon my heart or stapling a reminder to my forehead

Anyone who serves GOD will discover sooner or later that the great hindrance he has in the LORD's work is not others but himself.  First line The Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee

                GOD calls us to hide HIS WORD in our heart.  YOUR WORD I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against YOU (Psalm 119:11 NKJV).  Or to write HIS characteristics upon our brain Let love and loyalty always show like a necklace, and write them in our mind (Proverbs 3:3 CEV).

                But sometimes I think just writing them on my heart or fixing them in my mind isn't enough.  There are times when I think I should staple this line from Nee to my forehead.  Not that it is inspired like the WORD of GOD.  Of course, it doesn't come close to the WORD of GOD.  But it is a practical reminder.  A kind of "loving others for dummies" abridged version.  Staple it, not for the world to see, but for me to see every time I look in the mirror.
                Among other things, GOD calls us to serve HIM.  And in our service to HIM, we are expected to work with others.  Working with the lost, I can show them love.  They are lost, right?  They don't know the Good News.  They have not experienced HIS love.  HIS mercy.  HIS forgiveness.  They are not Christians, why should I expect them to act like one?
                But what about working with other Christians?  That is where I remove my necklace of love and loyalty.  I put on my battle armor and I'm ready to fight.  After all, if they would only act right, believe the way I do, do it as I want it to be done, I could finish my job of witnessing to the lost.  I, I, I.  I see the problem...
                Let love be genuine.  Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good (Romans 12:9 ESV).  Let love be genuine.  What a commandment.  I can fake it but to be real?  That means taking a risk.  I might get hurt.  Abhor what is evil.  Oh, that's easy.  Genocide.  Oppression.  Injustice.  Those are the easy abstract answers but then I start thinking on the meaning of evil.  Is it evil to withhold forgiveness?  To keep a grudge?  To enjoy a little revenge, not a lot, just a little.  Are those evil?  Maybe minor ones, I mean, none of us are perfect.  Minor flaws are okay, right?  But the lesser of two evils is still evil.  Hold fast to what is good?  I hold fast to what is pleasurable.  I hold fast to what is desirable.  But to hold fast to what is good?  What is good?  Maybe it has something to do with the earlier verse let love and loyalty always show like a necklace.  Or maybe to let love be genuine.
                Love one another with brotherly affection.  Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10 ESV).  Ick.  Love with brotherly affection?  Can't I just not be mean to them?  Do I have to show affection?  Honor?  Some are not desirable.  Some stink.  Some are obnoxious.  Show honor?
                Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the LORD.  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality (Romans 12:11-13 ESV). 
                The calling of GOD is a big one.  When HE calls us, nothing is small.  Working with children, or the elderly or the forgotten may not seem like big, important work.  But it is HIS work.  Therefore it is important.  The Pilgrim’s Prayer quoted in the beginning of Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of GOD: With Spiritual Maxims sums it up nicely:  “LORD of all pots and pans and things… Make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates!”   We serve not only to help others but to grow ourselves.  We learn to be more CHRIST-like when serving.  My path on the Christian road, is continually straightened with HIS course corrections, HIS hand being in everything.  Working with others that I consider a hindrance to HIS work?  As the Nee statement goes, it is me that is a hindrance.  I need to wear love and loyalty as a necklace, showing it to others. 
                I am the one needing to be changed.  Not to just “show” love but for it to be genuine.  Not to just hate evil but to hold on to the good.  Show brotherly affection—it's easy to say I love but to show affection?  That means I care.  Be zealous about HIS work.  Excited.  Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, constant in prayer, helping the saints and showing hospitality.  These are HIS how-to guidelines.  How to not only survive in a fallen world but to love others.  I learn to love those who are fallen and those who are saints.
                The Watchman Nee statement?  I'm the hindrance to GOD's work, not others?  How do I summarize?  Let me turn it around.  GOD doesn’t want us to focus on ourselves but others.  Jesus says, “The second [greatest commandment] is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:31 ESV).
                How will you love your neighbor today?